I figured there would be a minimum of points before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message.
For points, I'd agree to go out on a date, and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship before somebody had crossed the 1, point threshold. Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well. So I go back online now. I found Jewishdoc57 who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken, he had hiked Mt. Fuji, he had walked along the Great Wall. He likes to travel as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship. And I thought, I've done it! I've cracked the code.
This is a transcript of the Freakonomics Radio podcast “What You Don't Know About Online Dating.“ [MUSIC: Tear Ceremony, “I Dream of You. Nearly half of all singles who've tried online dating said it led to a serious long- term relationship or marriage. Most Americans consider it a good.
I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming of my family's dreams. There was only one problem: He didn't like me back. And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered is the competition. Who are all of the other women on these dating sites? She said she was a "Fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing. At this moment I knew, clicking profile after profile that looked like this, that I needed to do some market research. So I created 10 fake male profiles. Now, before I lose all of you —. I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody.
I really was just scraping their data. But I didn't want everybody's data. I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry. When I released these men into the wild, I did follow some rules. So I didn't reach out to any woman first. I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract, and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets. So I was looking at qualitative data, so what was the humor, the tone, the voice, the communication style that these women shared in common?
And also quantitative data, so what was the average length of their profile, how much time was spent between messages? What I was trying to get at here was that I figured, in person, I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online. Well, one month later, I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis. And as it turns out, content matters a lot. So smart people tend to write a lot — 3,, 4,, 5, words about themselves, which may all be very, very interesting. In other words — is he any good at giving actual online dating advice?
Is it better to choose a big site like Match. Should you lie — and if so, about what? Okay, so it says what are you doing with your life? Okay, so like it says the six things I could never do without. And this is true, but it all ends up sounding up like weird bragging.
Coffee, whiskey, running shoes, paperbacks, torrents and my geriatric Vespa. Oh this is the worst part. What are we looking for here?
Someone to hang out with? New York City is demographically more female than male. We have an oversupply of men relative to women, at least compared to other cities. New York City and Washington D. Now the other thing to keep in mind here is time is very much on your side.
So you should be picky, you should be looking for a really good match. I should be searching a little less carefully. So my friends and I talk about this all the time. My female friends and my male friends all feel that this is true, like that men in New York and in cities where my friends live, everyone can actually feel these market forces and we talk about them.
And I hate them. Like if I were shopping for a TV it would fun if everyone were clambering for my dollar, but like…Oh that sounds terrible applied to dating. Just like the idea of that the search sucks even if the search is like weighted in your favor I guess. Okay, so a couple of things can help you out here. One is if the technology is good enough on the dating site, you want a huge dating site that gives you just a very, very small fraction of the available people on the site.
But just think about a boardwalk. And at one end of the boardwalk is people who are completely incompatible for you, with you for one reason.
At the other end of the boardwalk is people who are completely incompatible for you for another reason. And then think of all the women who might be in your potentially in your market as being evenly distributed along this boardwalk, where the ones that happen to be right next to you are perfect fits for you, or very good fits for you. And the ones at the extreme are not. Well, obviously the more women on that boardwalk the better you are. So this is what we call a thick market effect.
And it does have the opposite problem that thicker markets lead to more costs of screening all the potential candidates. Now, does that make you nervous? If so, we can help. Coming up on Freakonomics Radio: As an economist I look at that and I want to suggest the following, that you fill in more detail keeping in mind two ideas that are very important in economics. I mean, is that OK? I don't think it's, like, good or bad. But I think a lot of times you see people go on these interspace dating sites, or, dating sites that focus more on interest.
So I think a lot of the apps are kind of moving towards that. So there's a really nice metaphor. So basically people are treating dating like it's shopping. So, like, as if you're trying to look for the next dress or the next handbag or whatever, and you're browsing. Do you ever feel like you're a commodity when you're doing online dating, or feel objectified?
And I think because I have, like, data about my own profile sometimes laughter so I can tell if I, like - I have a picture of myself with glasses and books in the background, but the picture of me holding a beer does better. And also, like, you're doing it too.
Like, there is literally a giant red X on someone. And there is something, like, a little gross about saying, like, no, I do not want this person in my life. Well, I'm just so fascinated because both of you share this thing in common that you're both using online dating but also writing about it, thinking about it, which has to shape the experience personally. Transcripts can also be requested directly from our Transcript Unit during normal business hours. Transcript requests are processed within 5 business days. Payment can be made by cash exact change only , check payable through a U.
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